ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
