Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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