do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
