Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize