O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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