party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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