Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
