woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize