no, he came in my armpit
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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