Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
