Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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