Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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