Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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