I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
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My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
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I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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