he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
porn star boner night. come get it.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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