did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You are a genius and a whore.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
