Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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