You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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