It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
