No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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