oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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