i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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