Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You've changed since you got that strap on
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
