How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
