You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
