I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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