just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
