I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize