just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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