I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
