Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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