he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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