Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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