So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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