This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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