My room smells like vodka and shame
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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