I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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