I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
try to milk me bitch
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
