I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize