Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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