If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
