woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize