i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So vagazzling was a success
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
