Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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