Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
