I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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