Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
