Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
