your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Enjoy the penises
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
