i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There r osticjed everywhere
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
