32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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