Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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