you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
