gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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