Are we in a gay sports bar?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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