I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
