party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
