One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
