My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I cut my penus on the lid.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
