I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
