A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
